Wolves in Sheep's Clothing

Catholic Answers recently released a special report entitled, “Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing”. It details modern dissenters within the Church... those who have an agenda that is contradictory to the teachings of the Catholic Church and contradictory to what we, as Catholics, are required to uphold. These dissenters promote various ideas that are breaking down the core of theology and morality within the Catholic faith: same-sex marriage, “alternative” lifestyles, pro-abortion, contraception, divorce, the ordination of women, and married priests, just to name a few. Dissenters pose a serious threat to the Church and to the souls who trust that they are receiving sound and orthodox teaching from those in authoritative positions.
Because of these dissenters, it is absolutely essential that Catholics arm themselves with the truth about Catholic teaching and continue to fight against the heresy and false teaching that is creeping up within our own parishes.

In my parish, you ask?

Indeed.

This is a difficult thing to write about but it's also necessary. Sometimes, doing what is right is not the popular thing to do and it often comes with a price to pay in one way or another. But, we've all seen how these things work. First, you allow contraception, then it's abortion for extreme cases, then it's abortion at will, which then leads to euthanasia of babies born with disabilities. You see the progression here? When we make allowances for the seemingly little things, they eventually turn into big things. Before you know it, the value of the truth of life's sanctity is being questioned all over the globe and the fight to keep things right becomes overwhelming.

It is the same way with any good vs. evil, or truth vs. falsehood. As Catholics, we have a right to attend a Mass that is done properly... a good, orthodox, and valid Mass. We have a right to experience the Sacraments the way the Church intends for us to experience them. Catholicism IS the fullness of truth! But, what happens when we allow people from within to decide what's important and what isn't? What happens when we allow those teaching others within the Church to teach things contrary to what the Church teaches? And what happens when we believe these things and carry them out to others, teaching others the wrong we've been taught? Before we know it, the fight to keep things right becomes overwhelming.

I'm not going to go so far as to say that all these people teach error knowing they're doing so. Some are just sincerely wrong. The problem comes when they believe they are above correction... when pride does not allow them to see the error they promote and their hearts are unwilling to change. Having a degree and a few letters after your name does not make you infallible or above correction. We, as humans, are always growing, always learning and always changing. I, for example, never thought in a million years I'd convert to Catholicism. Why? Because my pride did not allow me to see that Catholicism was a fuller truth than what I already knew. Once pride got out of the way, and I realized God had something to show me, I was able to really let the truth sink in.

This brings me to the point. This fall, while attending RCIA, the RCIA Director taught the class that the Bible is inspired but that it contains error. This statement troubled me because I was ALWAYS taught, and believed that the Catholic Church taught, that the Bible is inerrant. In fact, this statement bothered me for months. At first I thought, "Well, maybe she didn't mean to say it that way..." But I thought that even if she didn't mean it that way, that's how it was taught. At this point, I began to look into what the Church actually teaches about the inerrancy of Scripture. To my relief, the Church teaches that ALL of Scripture is inerrant. So, now it was just a matter of discussing it with the director.

So, we were all given evaluations to fill out at the end of the RCIA year and I decided this would be a good time to bring up my issue with the director's statement. Unlike most evaluations, we were asked to identify ourselves (but not until the end of the evaluation). How can one feel good about being honest when they're required to say who they are? Anyway, a couple of weeks later, I received a call from the DRE. She informed me that I do not understand Catholic teaching about Scripture and requested to meet with me about the issue. She emphatically stated, "There ARE errors in Scripture." I figured I should probably agree to meet with her to figure out exactly what her position was on the matter. Perhaps, I was just not understanding what she meant. But, I also decided that I had better look further into the issue and learn about the actual Catholic position regarding the inerrancy of Scripture.

Through my study, I found that the Catholic Church throughout history has ALWAYS taught that Scripture, being authored by God, is fully and entirely without error:

St. Irenaeus in Against Heresies said, "If, however, we cannot discover explanations of all those things in Scripture which are made the subject of investigation, yet let us not on that account seek after any other God besides Him who really exists. For this is the very greatest impiety. We should leave things of that nature to God Who created us, being most properly assured that the Scriptures are indeed perfect, since they were spoken by the Word of God and His Spirit."

St. Clement of Rome in Letter to the Corinthians said, "You have studied the Holy Scriptures, which are true and inspired by the Holy Spirit. You know that nothing contrary to justice or truth has been written in them."

St. Justin Martyr in Dialogue with Trypho said, "But I shall not venture to suppose or to say such a thing [that the Scriptures err]; and if a Scripture which appears to be of such a kind be brought forward, and if there be a pretext [for saying] that it is contrary [to some other] since I am entirely convinced that no Scripture contradicts another, I shall admit rather that I do not understand what is recorded, and shall strive to persuade those who imagine that the Scriptures are contradictory, to be rather of the same opinion as myself."

St. Augustine in Letters said, "[To Jerome, a. 394-395] I think it is extremely dangerous to admit that anything in the Sacred Books should be a lie... If we once admit in that supreme authority even one polite lie, there will be nothing left of those books, because, whenever anyone finds something difficult to practice or hard to believe, he will follow his most dangerous precedent and explain it as the idea or practice of a lying author."

St. Augustine to St. Jerome said, “On my own part I confess...that it is only to those books of Scripture which are now called canonical that I have learned to pay such honor and reverence as to believe most firmly that none of their writers has fallen into any error. And if in these books I meet anything which seems contrary to truth I shall not hesitate to conclude either that the text is faulty or that the translator has not expressed the meaning of the passage, or that I myself do not understand.”

I think these five quotes alone should rest my case but I want to look further because the argument being made against the inerrancy of Scripture will become a grossly obvious misinterpretation of Church documents if one can see and understand the historical position of the Church.

Providentissimus Deus by Pope Leo XIII, written in 1893:
“It is absolutely wrong and forbidden either to narrow inspiration to certain parts only of Holy Scripture or to admit that the sacred writer has erred. For the system of those who, in order to rid themselves of those difficulties, do not hesitate to concede that divine inspiration regards the things of faith and morals, and nothing beyond...this system cannot be tolerated.... It follows that those who maintain that an error is possible in any genuine passage of the sacred writings either pervert the Catholic notion of inspiration or make God the author of such error.... ...all the Fathers and Doctors [of the Church] agreed that the divine writings, as left by the [sacred authors], are free from all error, [and] they labored earnestly, with no less skill than reverence, to reconcile with each other those numerous passages which seem at variance.”

Here we are told that we cannot limit inspiration to certain parts of Scripture and we cannot say that the writer has erred or we make God the author of error.

Divino Afflante Spiritu by Pope Pius XII 1943:
“...not merely because [the books of the canon] contain revelation without error, but because, having been written under the inspiration of the Holy spirit, they have God for their author...When, subsequently, some Catholic writers, in spite of this solemn definition of Catholic doctrine, by which such divine authority is claimed for the ‘entire books with all their parts’ as to secure freedom from any error whatsoever, [when these Catholic writers] ventured to restrict the truth of Sacred Scripture solely to matters of faith and morals...Leo XIII...justly and rightly condemned these errors.... Finally, it is absolutely wrong and forbidden ‘either to narrow inspiration to certain passages of Holy Scripture, or to admit that the sacred writer has erred’.... For as the substantial Word of God [Jesus Christ] became like to men in all things, ‘except sin,’ so the words of God, expressed in human language, are made like to human speech in every respect, except error.”

Here we are told that it is WRONG to believe that inerrancy of Scripture is limited to matters of faith and morals. Apparently, some tried to make this claim and the Church, through Pope Leo XIII, condemned this belief.

Humani Generis by Pope Pius XII in 1950:
“For some go so far as to pervert the sense of the Vatican Council’s definition [this is Vatican Council I] that God is the author of Holy Scripture, and they put forward again the opinion, already often condemned, which asserts that immunity from error extends only to those parts of the Bible that treat of God or of moral and religious matters.”

Again, in 1950, we're told that it is wrong to restrict inerrancy solely to matters of morality or religion... that ALL of Scripture is inerrant.

Vatican Council II, Dei Verbum:
“Sacred Scripture is the speech of God as it is put down in writing under the breath of the Holy Spirit.... Since, therefore, all that the...sacred writers affirm should be regarded as affirmed by the Holy Spirit, we must acknowledge that the books of Scripture, firmly, faithfully and without error, teach that truth which God, for the sake of our salvation, wished to see confided to the sacred Scriptures. Thus ‘all Scripture is inspired by God, and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness...” [2 Tim 3:16].”

So, here we have at Vatican II, the same thing happening... So, what's the problem, you ask? Well, I met with the DRE and found her position, despite her degrees and knowledge of Scripture, to be contradictory to Church teaching. Take a look at the part I made bold in the last paragraph... These 6 short words, have somehow permitted the DRE to believe, contrary to the historical teaching of the Church, that the inerrancy of Scripture is limited to matters of salvation (or faith and morals). She believes that Scripture contradicts itself and that the authors erred on matters not pertaining to faith and morals, such as science and history. She claimed that this Vatican II document CHANGED the Church's teaching on the inerrancy of Scripture. In reality, the Church NEVER changes truth and it NEVER changes it's doctrines. It may change disciplines, but it does NOT change doctrine. I believe it is CLEAR that the Catholic Church teaches that ALL of Scripture is inerrant. However, the DRE is teaching this error, based on her interpretation of Dei Verbum, not only to RCIA students, but to the older children in the parish as well.

Despite my efforts to show the DRE the Church's teaching on the matter, she refused to listen to any Church document that came prior to Vatican II. She claimed that I did not bring her a quote from ONE biblical scholar, when what I brought her was better than any biblical scholar: church documents. Scholars are not infallible. The ordinary Magisterium of the Church IS infallible. I asked the DRE to produce one magisterial document that states explicitly that Scripture contains error or that those six words should be interpreted as she's interpreting them. She could not. On the other hand, I had Church documents, the Catholic Encyclopedia, tracts from Catholic Answers and a letter from a well-known apologist, all of which are aware of this out-of-context interpretation of Dei Verbum and all of which state emphatically that ALL of Scripture is inerrant.

Can you imagine all of these children and adults being taught to believe this and spreading this lie as true Catholic teaching? Can you imagine the damage this can cause to believe that God permitted error on the part of the authors in writing His Sacred Word? We cannot allow people to teach this. It must be stopped... and we must pay attention to what those in leadership positions are teaching in our parishes. We must ensure that the Catholic faith is being properly taught. There is NO room for error on this matter.

I will not go so far as to say that the DRE is purposely trying to deceive people. I believe she is teaching what she truly believes to be Church teaching. I believe, if she could look at the evidence fairly, she would stop teaching this. But I believe she is ignoring all the evidence. I believe she does not understand that the Bible is not to be read literally throughout and that what she sees as contradictions are simply a lack of understanding of the author's intent or of the spiritual nature of what is on the page. Regardless of her degrees and credentials, she is simply wrong on this matter. The Bible is not a history or science book. In addition, we are always developing new understandings of Scripture. Our lack of understanding cannot be reduced to passing it off as error.

This whole ordeal has been difficult for me. I have a lot of respect for the DRE and I don't want to be in conflict with anyone. But, as a Catholic, it is my responsibility to demand that truth be taught in the parish, especially to children. If I just let this slide, who knows what kind of heresy this could snowball into? Sadly, there are many who share her position. There ARE scholars who believe and teach as she does. But it is a direct contradiction of Church teaching and it cannot continue. Dissident biblical scholars pose a huge danger to the faith and regardless of the prestige of the scholar, we must always be looking out for false teachings. Some scholars are bold in their attempts to promote their false viewpoints, giving themselves a nihil obstat, which officially declares their work as free from doctrinal or moral error. Raymond E. Brown, S.S., Joseph A. Fitzmeyer, S.J., and Roland E. Murphy, O.Carm, did just that in their widely used New Jerome Biblical Commentary (Catholic Answers, Beginning Apologetics 7:How to Read the Bible, page 33). In fact, these scholars are guilty of promoting the very interpretation of Dei Verbum that the DRE holds. I only wonder if these were the scholars she wanted me to quote that permitted her to dismiss me because I failed to do so.

Unfortunately, I was unable to convince the DRE of the Church's teaching on the inerrancy of Scripture. May the Lord grant her the grace to change her opinion and may He protect the ears of any who may hear her teach this in the future.
For anyone wishing to read about the "so-called" errors in the Bible, try to find a copy of John W. Haley's Alleged Discrepancies of the Bible (New Kensington, PA: Whitaker House, 1992).

In the meantime, keep a watchful eye for those dissenting against Church teaching and don't just sit back and let it happen. Speak up until it stops! You ARE the Church! You and your children have a right to hear the truth!

The Code of Canon Law states:
Canon 217: Since they are called by baptism to lead a life in keeping with the teaching of the gospel, the Christian faithful have the right to a Christian education by which they are to be instructed properly to strive for the maturity of the human person and at the same time to know and live the mystery of salvation. (emphasis mine)

Canon 229 (paragraph 1): Lay persons are bound by the obligation and posses the right to acquire knowledge of Christian doctrine appropriate to the capacity and condition of each in order for them to be able to live according to this doctrine, announce it themselves, defend it if necessary, and take their part in exercising the apostolate. (emphasis mine)

God Brings Peace

Often times, when one is walking the road of conversion, they may face a few moments of doubt. They may ask themselves if they are truly following God or simply being misled. Along my own road, I had several of these moments.

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Video: I Can Only Imagine

We have a date!

On June 24, 2007 at 5:00 pm, my three children will be baptized in the Catholic Church. We are all excited and I think they sense the significance of the event. My daughter even told my mom the exciting news:

T: Grandma, I'm going to be baptized!
Mom: Oh, yeah?
T: Yeah, and I know what that means! They are going to pour water on my head. Sometimes, if you're a big person, they put your whole body in the water.

*Cute*

Originally, the baptism was scheduled for June 3 but I found out my dad would be in Kenya at that time. I called my dad to ask if I should reschedule, should they choose to attend. He said not to reschedule. I had to reschedule it anyway because, as it turns out, I'll be moving the weekend of June 3. But this let me know that my parents will likely not attend the baptism. This, of course, is what I expected.

My parents show up for EVERYTHING. What will I tell the kids when they don't show up for this?

Dr. Francis Beckwith Comes Home

The big news the past few days is the almost "scandalous" reversion of Dr. Francis J. Beckwith, President of the Evangelical Theological Society, along with the conversion of his wife. Upon hearing the news, my first thought was the joy one experiences when they come home to the Catholic Church. Second, I started thinking about all this means for him and his family.

Conversion is NOT an easy thing to do. No one converts for reasons that are not well-thought out, especially when they stand so much to lose. Being in the position that Dr. Beckwith is in, I imagine it was a very long process, accompanied by many prayers: a decision not taken lightly by any means.

Please pray for Dr. Beckwith and his family. They are under attack by those who simply do not understand. The lack of Christian charity I've been reading from some has been disheartening.

Many of us converts/reverts understand the pain associated with these attacks. But we also know the peace and blessing from God that eventually follows.

This is a time to remember that our purpose in life is to love God and follow him, wherever He takes us, whatever the cost.

Welcome home, Dr. Beckwith and family! May God bless you richly in your obedience to him!

What Dr. Beckwith says about his reversion: My Return to the Catholic Church

Preparing For Baptism

I met with the deacon last Sunday about the baptism for the kids. Outside of my children climbing up the walls in the deacon’s office, the meeting went well. He asked about Godparents and I told him I’d have to get back to him. We set a date but I had to leave a message with him to reschedule because I forgot I’ll be out of town that weekend so it looks like it will end up being sometime in June.

We had to attend two classes about baptism. The classes were okay but they didn’t give enough information to the kids about the purpose and importance of baptism. The woman mentioned the use of water and oil. She mentioned some stories in the Bible that symbolize baptism and the kids did some art projects. Not once did she mention original sin and the need to remove it from the soul. Nor did she mention the Holy Spirit’s role in baptism.

No problem, however, because religious education comes first from the home and I have been talking about these things with my children myself. But what about the families who are not telling this to their children? I think it’s important, if they’re going to have a mandatory class prior to baptism, that it actually teaches the kids these very important aspects of the sacrament.

The kids are really excited about being baptized... They keep asking me, "Are we going to be baptized today?" My oldest keeps telling everyone he wants to be "dunked" because "that’s the way Grandpa was baptized". I explained that they don’t do it that way at our parish but he seems insistent. I’ll have to spend a little more time talking with him about this, I think, so he understands it’s just as effective either way.

Please pray for my children as they get closer to this sacrament. Please also pray that my family will be open to attending. My family never misses events for the kids but I fear they may choose not to attend this one and I worry that my children may not understand their absence.

The Cost of Conversion

One of the most difficult things that Catholic converts often face is the lack of support from family and friends. This comes in many forms and often leaves these converts on an anguishing journey with lots of ups and downs. One minute may be filled with joy as they discover something else new and wonderful in the faith. The next moment is filled with anxiety and sadness as they leave behind their old ways of worship and seek to find ways to "break the news" to their loved ones.

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Amazing

So, there I was, in my cesspool of self-pity and depression. Dry. Unfeeling. Numb. Sadness overwhelming me like a blanket snuffing out a fire.

And once again, God came near to me through others. Some spoke, some listened, some prayed. One thing that struck me in particular was something TJ said, "Jesus holds his arms out on the cross and says, 'Amber you come up here and share your suffering with me for awhile.'"

Wow.

I cannot remember word for word but Corey said something about Sister Faustina and how Jesus told her that when it seems God is far from her, he is actually closer - and that he just removes the awareness of his presence. I suppose God does this to bring us closer to him, to build trust and perseverance.

Yesterday, I was feeling much better. Then, this morning, I was listening to Food for the Journey and Sister Ann Shields made mention of the Meditation of the Day in the Magnificat for today. It was from Monsignor Roman Guardini and it was so appropriate for what I've been experiencing.

God is always and everywhere near to man. But to man himself, his presence is inaccessible, blocked off. God alone can open up this channel...

And Jesus has brought this presence to us. We know that the Father loves us in Jesus. We have confidence in the grace of his love for us; we know that his eyes see us, his heart it turned toward us, and his hands lead us. We believe that heaven is around us... However, one thing is missing: we do not feel the presence of God; It is still closed off, from our side. It is closed off by what we ourselves are; by the heaviness of our imprisoned being; by the slothfulness and dullness of our hearts; by the evil that is in us. Heaven would be here entire if God opened up his presence to us, and at the same time opened up men's hearts so they could feel this presence...

Every Christian act, belief, love, sacrifice, struggle, every perseverance, and courageous performance - all these things make possible the approach of him who desires only to come forward. But all coldness, indifference, slothfulness, weakness, pride, covetousness - everything sin is called - forces him back, bars the road to him. And heaven fights. Heaven wants to come to us. For heaven is only God's love come home....

Today is a new day... God is good. I know God is near though I cannot feel him. He has shown me his presence through others. I'm not giving up. I'm moving forward and thanking him for today.

Difficult times...

Fr. Bob spoke yesterday about a priest who was experiencing dryness. He had asked the priest, "Do you pray?" and the priest responded that he could not pray because every time he did, he thought of all the sins he’d committed in his life. Fr. Bob responded with, "Do you not know that God loves you? You must find a way to get past this or you will never grow and you will miss all that God has in store for you."

Perhaps this is my problem, in part. I know God loves me, intellectually speaking... but I don’t believe this concept has sunk beyond that and into my soul.

I feel broken... like a toy that cannot be repaired. I suffer from depression and I feel like a failure as a parent. I could go on and list all the negatives but I’ve been doing that in my own mind for days and I don’t want to reduce myself to tears at this point. Perhaps there is some reason I’ve been allowed to experience what I have... some greater purpose I cannot see yet.

I have a lot of resentment built up due to certain circumstances in my life. I hate the circumstance and I hate the resentment even more. Sometimes, I just let it go and other times, it sneaks up on me and settles in a huge wave of depression, anxiety and anger.

The past week has been one of those times.

Yesterday was particularly difficult. At Mass, my emotions were numb. But, when I took the Eucharist,I actually began to cry. I cannot explain what I was feeling. Even as I reflect now, I get choked up. It was as if Jesus were saying, "Do you not know that I love you? You must find a way to get past this or you will never grow and you will miss all that I have in store for you..."

Lord, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.

A Prayer

CatholicDaily.org now has a forum! Join and post something!

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I've been staring at my screen for 20 minutes trying to figure out what I want to say. Thing is, I don't have much to say right now. So, I'm not going to force it.

Instead I'll post this prayer... One that I need to be praying regularly:

Prayer to Overcome Sloth and Lukewarmness

O my God, I know well that so negligent a life as mine cannot please You. I know that by my lukewarmness I have closed the door to the graces which You desire to bestow on me. O my God, do not reject me, as I deserve, but continue to be merciful toward me, and I will make great efforts to amend and to arise from this miserable state. In the future I will be more careful to overcome my passions and to follow Your inspirations; and never through slothfulness will I omit my duties, but will strive to fulfill them with greater diligence and fidelity. In short, I will from this time forward do all I can to please You, and will neglect nothing which I know to be pleasing to You.

Since You, O my Jesus, have been so liberal with Your graces toward me and have deigned to give Your Blood and Your Life for me, I am sorry for having acted with so little generosity toward You, Who are worthy of all honor and all love. But, O my Jesus, You know my weakness. Help me with Your powerful grace; in You I confide.

O Immaculate Virgin Mary, help me to overcome myself and to become a saint. Amen.

Blogger's Choice Awards

You can nominate and vote for your favorite blogs in the topic of religion. There are atheist blogs in the running... Since when is atheism a religion?

Vote! Vote! Vote! There are lots of our favorite Catholic blogs already in the running! You'll have to sign up if you don't have an account, but it's easy and it's free!

Don't let a blog on atheism win in the religion category!

Blogger's Choice Awards

Video: My LifeSong Sings

What's next?

Cathy is a 21-year-old Baptist who has been called to Catholicism. She hopes to be brought into the Catholic Church sometime this year. Please go to her brand new blog and welcome her!

Coming Home
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It is Thursday and I cannot wait for Sunday! What a beautiful time this is in my life!

In a couple of weeks, my boys and I will be attending a couple of baptism classes to get them ready to be baptized. I am very much looking forward to this very important event in their lives. My daughter will also be baptized but doesn’t need to attend the class because she’s too young.

It’s still amazing to me when I think that I’ve crossed the line. I am greatly anticipating the growth I will experience now that I am able to receive the Eucharist. I have never put so much effort into nurturing my faith as I have in the last several months and I know I’m still falling short of where I want to be. I don’t ever again want to be where I was a year ago... to feel that loneliness and to be so far from God and His will for my life. I have been given a most precious gift and I pray He’ll never allow me to take it for granted.

Congratulations to all those who also entered the Church in 2007 along with me! It’s a wonderful feeling to know that the body of Christ just grew by a huge leap at one time. The time it takes to learn the faith and journey into Catholicism, is time well-spent as God nurtures our desire to know Him more and to be closer to Him. But the journey doesn’t stop here. In fact, it’s only beginning!

The question I ask now is, "What will you have me do next, Lord?"

The Grace to See

The reasons for conversion vary from person to person. For some, it's intellectual. For others, it's a matter of the heart. For some, it's a long process sometimes over many years. For others, it's a Damascus Road conversion, quick and unexpected. But one thing is certain. In every conversion, God has given someone the grace to come to the truth and that person has cooperated with that grace, often giving up a measure of pride.

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I'm a Catholic!

The first thing I thought when I woke up this morning was, "I'm a Catholic!" In a flash, the moment I had longed for came and went. Here I sit, nearly 24 hours later, and I can still imagine the scent of the oil. I can still feel the touch of my sponsors and the hands that Father Joseph placed on my head. It's almost surreal.

There were two who were baptized and seeing them up there brought about reflections on my own baptism... I was overjoyed for them! How awesome is the work of the Holy Spirit as He cleanses a soul of it's sin! It's a much more moving event having the understanding that baptism actually does leave a mark on the soul. I only wish I had the same understanding when the Holy Spirit was at work during my baptism as a child.

After the baptism, it was time for Confirmation. Upon the calling of my name, I walked up with the others. Damion and Ruth stood behind me with their hands on my shoulders. I stood there, trembling with nervousness and excitement. I kept thinking about my journey and how far I'd come in such a short time. I was thanking God for bringing me into His truth, for showing me the beauty in the Catholic faith and for finally bringing me to this moment in time.

When Fr. Joseph placed his hands on my head, the weight of his hands surprised me at first, but I felt peaceful and it was almost as if I could feel his faith. Deep. Sincere. He then anointed me with oil and said, "Elizabeth Ann Seton, be sealed with the Holy Spirit." And we exchanged the Sign of Peace.

We were then dismissed to our seats to prepare for the Eucharist. I already felt as if I could burst with joy and I hadn't even had the Eucharist yet! We were called up, the ten of us, to receive our First Holy Communion. One by one, we ate the body and drank of the cup. We then returned to our pews to allow everyone else to partake in communion. For the first time, I was able to receive communion with Damion, a moment I had long been waiting for and one which I feel has brought us closer together.

The entire Mass was beautiful... and it didn't seem nearly as long as it was. In attendance on my behalf were: Damion, Ruth, Holly, Patty, Lindsey, April, Heather, Carrie and Trevor. I was deeply moved and blessed to have them there to witness one of the most meaningful and important events in my life. From Ruth, I received a beautiful crucifix necklace, which I have proudly worn ever since and will treasure it for many years to come.

I feel different today. I feel content and free of anxiety. I feel ready to continue growing closer to God and I am anxious to receive Him again in the Eucharist!

I love Jesus. I love the Catholic Church. I love the Catholic faith.

I'm a Catholic and I wouldn't want to be anything else!

Thanks be to God!

*Thank you to EVERYONE who prayed for me! I received generous comments on my blog along with a few emails and I took to heart every single one of them!*

Who Am I?

“Who am I? Who am I that the Lord should be washing MY feet?”

Here we have God incarnate, our Creator, washing the feet of those He created. How completely amazing! How much He must love us! How much more should we not love Him? He came to show us goodness at its best: love, service, and humility!

He broke the mold of what might be expected of a king and gave us the ultimate example. I am honored to be following such a King and I pray that he will make me more like Him every day!

Blessed!

Four days away and the excitement is building. I view my Confirmation as a serious turning point... a moment where God may take me in any number of directions and open many unexpected doors in my life.

What will you have me do to further your kingdom, Lord?

I am also feeling quite blessed... Though my parents have chosen not to come, my sister has decided to come with the understanding that she does not approve of my decision but she cares for and loves me enough to know that this is an important event in my life and wants to be supportive. I also have some wonderful friends, some Christian, some not, who will also be attending. Just when I think that my parents’ lack of attendance will leave me with empty seats, others have stepped in to fill the gap. I have been blessed with some really great friends!

Through this whole process, Damion has been wonderful. He’s watched my kids every Wednesday night for months so I could attend RCIA. This means a lot because every Wednesday, he’s left work earlier than he should have to rush home, shower and make it to my house at a time very difficult for him. I could not have gone through RCIA without him. He’s heard my struggles, my fears and my joys throughout the whole process... even in my anguish in the beginning, when I felt God was nowhere to be found.

I am amazed that God has called me to this place... the last place I ever expected to be! A year ago, I would have laughed if you said I was going to be a Catholic and, quite frankly, I would have been repulsed at the idea... But today, I wouldn’t want to be anything else. The Catholic faith has given me everything I was lacking: history, stability, continuity, unity, sound and consistent scriptural interpretation, sacramental grace, a better-formed conscience, and most of all, a desire to truly do God’s will.

And, in addition, I have some wonderful news. At this very pivotal time, I have taken on a new call to be a columnist on a new Catholic website, called CatholicDaily.org. I am utterly blessed and honored that they asked me to join them as a contributing writer and believe that God is calling me to step out in this direction for a purpose not yet known to me. My first article will be coming out soon. Please pray that my words will always give glory to God...

In just four days, I will join thousands of others in becoming a full member of the Church established by Christ. In just four days, I will receive the Lord in the Eucharist! How very blessed I am!

This Man

The most touching aspect of this video to me is the man who crossed himself, and knowing, at that moment, he was thinking of Christ in the middle of the crowd he was walking with.

Song by Jeremy Camp

Palm Sunday Reflection

At the reading of the gospel today, I was impacted by the statement in which we all joined in to say, "Crucify him! Crucify him!" It was a horrible thing to be saying it and my initial thought was, "I wouldn't be saying that! I don't want to say that!"

Then I realized, every time I sin, I am, in essence, saying those words. My sins put Christ on that cross. Every single one of them. Though I did not utter those words in person 2000 years ago, I utter them in my heart every time I choose sin over His will for me.

Thank you, Lord, for forgiving the sins of mine that put you on that cross.

Friday's Feast #137

Friday’s Feast can be found HERE!

Appetizer
What are you proud of?
I am proud of my children... Though it is difficult raising them alone at times, I am proud to be their mother and thankful for them in my life.

Soup
What is the best thing you’ve ever won as a prize?
Hmm... I won a community service award when I was in high school for the time I spent working with and interpreting for deaf children. This included awards from local political figures. The real prize, however, was seeing the kids learn, grow and change...

Salad
Name something you do that is a waste of time.
Watch television... this is such a waste of time and the older I get, the more I see this. At the same time, I really enjoy it!

Main Course
In what year of your life did you change the most?
I would have to say my 24th year. I became a mother for the first time and my life has never been the same since. I grew up that year... learned to be a mother and a better friend, too.

Dessert
Where is a place you consider to be very tranquil?
Is there such a place? Can someone please point out the way to this place? I’d like to go there!

Encouraged

Wow... I want to thank those of you who took the time to comment and encourage me. I printed out the Saint Michael Prayer and have it posted on my monitor’s edge.

I hope that God will use this, as Jeff said, in a way I cannot yet see... I have to admit that I did expect this a bit as I came near to Confirmation and I realize that feelings are not what makes or breaks one’s faith. I suppose there is a part of me that envies the presence that others say they feel... Perhaps Confirmation will help to make a difference.

Our RCIA does not have a retreat before confirmation. We are simply required to attend three Holy Week "events"... although a retreat sounds really nice about now. Next week, the television will not be turned on at my house at all, in hopes I’ll be able to add some quiet in order to better prepare myself for the Easter sacraments.

Thanks, RobK, for the book recommendation. I took a look at the book online and will likely purchase it on my next payday. My whole faith seems to be "an act of the will in spite of not feeling it..." Thank you for your prayers...

I have not read Dark Night of the Soul but I’ve been meaning to. Perhaps this is a good time, huh?

I’m feeling a bit more encouraged today. RCIA was great last night as we rehearsed for Easter. I had several friends tell me they plan to attend and even my sister said she may go, which was a surprise. I decided it might be best to get a sitter for the children because, otherwise, I will stress out the whole time about them behaving and being bored... especially since I won’t be able to sit right next to them. I really just want to be able to take in the moment and they are too young to really understand what would be happening.

And it’s official... the saint I chose for Confirmation is Elizabeth Ann Seton, single mother and convert to Catholicism. There are other saints I admire but this one speaks so much to my personal life experience and to the kind of Christian I’d like to be, devoted to helping others while working hard to care for my own children. Every time I examined the lives of saints, I’d always come back to her so I believe I was meant to choose her... or perhaps, she chose me... ?

Again, thank you all for your prayers and support. This journey is only beginning and I have a lot to learn and a lot of growth still ahead of me. In nine days, I will submit myself to the authority of the Catholic Church and I am thankful for the stability, continuity and unity found within the Catholic faith. I will finally be home and I cannot wait!

Prayer to live in God's Presence

God, my Father,
You have promised to remain forever with those
who do what is just and right.
Help me to live in Your presence.
The loving plan of Your Wisdom was made known when
Jesus, your Son, became man like us.
I want to obey His commandment of love
and bring Your peace and joy to others.
Keep before me the wisdom and love
You have made known in Your Son.
Help me to be like Him in word and deed.

I want to feel...

I’ve got to get past this... there has to be a way to get my heart caught up with my brain. I’ve been praying more, reading the Bible more, learning more... but I still feel very little. On rare occasion, I feel overwhelmed with joy and excitement that I am becoming a Catholic... being a part of something I am so strongly convinced of. But this is short-lived and then, I’m back to numb...

What is wrong with me?

I haven’t written lately, because, quite simply, I don’t have anything to say. I’ve been feeling really depressed. Perhaps it’s a test to see if I’m really ready to stick with it... to push forward even though I feel it’s getting me nowhere. I know there have been saints who have experienced “dryness” and this gives me a bit of consolation but I don’t want to feel nothing. I want to feel something... something beyond abandonment.

I know God is there... but I cannot feel His presence. While others do, I simply don’t.

What is wrong with me?

I will press forward. I will not give up. I will continue to pray, continue to read the Scriptures, continue to learn... but I desire more than anything to feel what others feel.

Lord, please... I long to feel your presence...

Getting Closer!

RobK at Kyrie Eleison has started a new blog for Catholic Dads. If you are a Catholic Dad and your blog touches on the issue of being a Catholic dad, then check it out and join others like you in the blog-o-sphere.

Catholic Dads Blog

**********
On another note, I cannot believe I am only 12 days away from Confirmation! Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday I was months away and now here it is, right around the corner!

I went to lunch with my dad last week and asked if they were going to make it. He said they probably wouldn't come and he apologized for not at least letting me know when they didn't show up for the Rite of Election. This opened up a good conversation between us and I was able to explain my position a little more. I only hope that something I said might have reached him. Despite that I know they won't be there, I had a peace come over me. I think not knowing was too difficult. And now I know I can fill my reserved seats with those who truly are supportive.

Prayers:
Damion and kids
Bill - continued strength and healing
J, sister and family
Jill - for faith
Renee and kids - for healing
Cindy, Terri and JillD
AutumnRose

Can't think of a title...

Last Sunday, the gospel reading was done by the deacon. I spoke to the priest about the gospel reading the week before and he basically said that, while it's supposed to only be done by a deacon or a priest, there are some occasions where it can be permitted. He also said that as long as a priest or deacon were INVOLVED in the reading and not just done by lay people, it was okay... though not good practice. Whatever. I'm not going to make waves at this point.

It will be interesting to see how they do it next Sunday.

I have yet to talk with the director about the whole Bible issue. I have to think of a good way to approach it and I may wait to do so until after the Easter Vigil.

Thank you all for your prayers and support in the last several months. I really appreciate all the comments and thoughts as well.

Homesick by Mercy Me

Music Video:HOMESICK (by MercyMe)

Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone

Friday's Feast #135

Friday's Feast can be found HERE.

Appetizer
Name two things that made you smile this week.
Only two? Seeing Clay safely return from the NASCAR races in Las Vegas. Every time I spoke with Damion.

Soup
Fill in the blank: Don't you hate it when a co-worker stops you when you're on your way out to lunch and you've already clocked out?

Salad
When you can't go to sleep, what is your personal remedy to help yourself drift into Lullabyland?
All I have to do is read... Reading puts me to sleep and this is a big problem for me when I really WANT to be reading. But, I usually don't have trouble going to sleep.

Main Course
What is something about which you've always wondered but have not yet found a good answer?
Why is faith in God so easy for some and seemingly impossible for others, even when presented with the same evidence?

Dessert
What is your favorite pasta dish?
I am not a fan of pasta but I like macaroni and cheese (preferably oven-baked with real cheese).

Living Water

John 4:13-14
Jesus said to her, "Every one who drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst; the water that I shall give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

I can think back to times when I’ve been thirsty... when I’ve been parched to the point where I’d do just about anything for a cup of water, a soda, or anything. I can think back to how wonderful it was to quench that thirst with a drink... relieving the dryness in my throat.

It’s ironic that Marie brought up this passage just the other day and there it was yesterday, being read in Mass, during the First Scrutiny...

Knowing thirst on a physical level helped me be able to see a deeply spiritual meaning in this passage. So often, in the past, I’ve felt spiritual thirst and ended up trying to quench it with temporary things: friendships, material possessions, spending money... These things would make me feel better for a while but, in the end, I was always more thirsty that I was before, like when I try to quench my thirst with a soda. It’s nice when I have it, but once it’s gone, I’m no less thirsty than I was before.

Of course, the only thing that will actually quench my spiritual thirst is the living water of Jesus’ love and truth. Each time I turn to God instead of looking to the temporary things of this world, my thirst is quenched and my relationship with God grows. With each drop, I desire more, not due to thirst... but because the water is simply so refreshing, renewing and uplifting. Only if I spend time with him in prayer and in His Word, will my thirst be fully quenched. This is not to say that friendships are not important or that material possessions are wrong. These things are important and necessary in our lives but never at the expense of our relationship with God!

When my thirst is quenched with the living water, a “soda” can be had not for quenching thirst but for enriching my life... and hopefully, I’ll be able to share the truth of God’s living water with others I encounter along the way. I never again want to feel parched in my spiritual life...

Lord, thank you for your living water. Thank you for your love for me. Help me daily to do your will. Quench my thirst and do not permit me to crave the temporary things of this world but to keep my eyes focused on You. Amen.

Friday's Feast #134

Appetizer
What is your usual bedtime? Do you like that, or would you rather it be different?

Sometime between 10:00 and 11:00. I think it's a little too late but I can't seem to make it any earlier!

Soup
When it comes to advice, do you give more or receive more?

Over the years, I've learned to listen more so I think it's fairly balanced. Of course, it all depends on the situation and who I'm talking with.

Salad
Describe a memorable meal you've had.

I remember the first time I met Damion at a restaurant after not seeing him for eight years. I knew right away that I was going to fall in love with him...

Main Course
Name a work of fiction that affected the way you think about something.

I cannot remember the last time I read a work of fiction... and I don't recall reading anything that really affected the way I think... I might have to think about this one a bit more...

Dessert
What is your favorite type of fruit juice?

Apple... boring, huh?

Get Simple

Luke 16:19-23

"There was a rich man, who was clothed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Laz'arus, full of sores, who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man's table; moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom. The rich man also died and was buried; in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes, and saw Abraham far off and Laz'arus in his bosom.

 

How often do I act as the rich man, forgetting those who are hurting or who are considered outcasts by society? I often forget to think just how much God loves them... no less than me. I've come to realize that many of my possessions weigh me down and hold me captive... I really want to simplify my life, to own fewer material items and grow in appreciation for having less. In short, I want to "get simple".

 

I am a bit of a packrat. The problem is that the thought of throwing things out actually causes me a lot of anxiety. What if I regret it? What if I throw out something I need or want later? (Silly, I know!) But I'm reaching a point where it's causing me more anxiety trying to hold on to so much stuff! I've been improving, trying to let go of things that just sit in boxes. I desire to get more organized but the task of doing so is overwhelming in and of itself...

 

I've been much more aware lately of how my money is spent as well... When I think of the material things I'd like to have, I often think about those who don't even have the basic necessities of life: food, shelter, clothing, or even adequate water. I rarely buy bottled water because when I do, I feel terrible for those dying from poor water, who would live if they could only drink what comes out of my tap.

 

Get simple.

 

I believe this is going to be quite a process for me but it's my goal to simplify my life by parting with all the material baggage I have. By this time next year, I want to be free of the anxiety I feel from carrying around so much "stuff". I want to re-train my mind to keep only what is important or of high sentimental value and toss the rest. I believe this will help me see the needs of others in order to help them. The Lord wants us to be ready to drop everything to follow him. The more I have, the more difficult that will be and I don't want to be hindered by materialism.

 

Lord, help me to know what is truly important so that I may follow you with all my heart, mind and soul. Let me not be burdened by materialism and ease my anxiety so I can part with the things that weigh me down.

 

Prayers:

v      Damion and kids

v      My parents

v      Jill – that the Lord would give her some Christian friends and strengthen family relationships

v      Bill – that he continues to recover from illness and that he regains the strength he needs quickly

v      Ruth – that her husband would come to understand the Catholic faith

v      Renee and children – that the Lord would give them strength and peace in this time of tragedy

v      Jose and Amy Lopez – for the repose of their souls

v      For the Lopez children and family - dealing with their loss

Photos: Rite of Election

Left to right/top to bottom:
Ruth (my sponsor), Bishop Randolph Calvo, me
Christian, Trinity, Clay

Me and Damion (posing with the Bishop - haha)

Peace Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much
seek to be consoled as to console,
not so much to be understood as to understand,
not so much to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
it is in dying that we awake to eternal life.

St. Francis of Assisi

 

The Real Presence

Malachi 1:11

For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name is great among the nations, and in every place incense is offered to my name, and a pure offering; for my name is great among the nations, says the LORD of hosts.

 

This passage in Malachi, written around 450 BC, is a prophecy of the Sacrifice of the Mass. At the time this was written, the Lord's name was not great among the nations nor was there a pure offering in his name in every place from the rising to the setting of the sun. But today, this describes the re-presentation of the one sacrifice of Christ on the cross that is offered in every nation all day long. Christ is the only pure offering that we continue to celebrate in an un-bloody manner through the Eucharist.

 

John 6:51-57

I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh." The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, "How can this man give us his flesh to eat?" So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me.

 

Many say that Christ was only speaking symbolically here. But there is nothing in this passage that indicates he was speaking symbolically. He does not tell us that we must symbolically eat his flesh and symbolically drink his blood. If this was symbolic, then why did they take him literally and ask, "How can this man give us his flesh to eat?" It is obvious they were troubled by what he was saying but he did not offer them an explanation to help them understand he was not to be take literally. Instead, he reiterated his words. If this was symbolic, then how do we do this? How can it be that the bread and wine we receive at communion can give us eternal life if they are only a symbol? What other way are we to eat his flesh and drink his blood in order to have this eternal life he speaks of?

 

John 6:60

Many of his disciples, when they heard it, said, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?"

 

Even after he further explained, those listening to him still understood this in a literal way, saying it was difficult to listen to.

 

John 6:64-66

But there are some of you that do not believe." For Jesus knew from the first who those were that did not believe, and who it was that would betray him. And he said, "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father." After this many of his disciples drew back and no longer went about with him.

 

Did Jesus call the disciples back to him to explain? No. He said, "But there are some of you that do not believe" and He allowed them to leave because of it.

 

1 Corinthians 11:23-26

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, "This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me." In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me." For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.  

 

Here, Jesus tells us that the bread IS his body. He does not say, this represents my body or this is symbolic of my body.

 

1 Corinthians 11:27-30

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.

 

How can you eat the bread and drink the cup in an unworthy manner if it is only a symbol? How do we profane the body and blood of the Lord if the bread and wine is only a symbol? Christ tells us we must discern the body and blood in the bread and wine or we bring judgment upon ourselves! If the bread and wine are merely symbols, why would those who took it unworthily become weak, ill or die?

 

This simply cannot be written any clearer. But Christ told us that some will not believe. Today, many still do not believe. They limit the power of God by claiming this is not possible. They try to find all sorts of ways around it. But Scripture is SO clear, that it must be severely twisted in order to conform to any other view.

 

It must also be pointed out that early Christians understood this literally as well. I can quote at least 14 different early Christians who believed in the real presence but for the sake of brevity, I'll quote two.

 

St. Ignatius of Antioch

"Take note of those who hold heterodox opinions on the grace of Jesus Christ which has come to us, and see how contrary their opinions are to the mind of God. . . . They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer because they do not confess that the Eucharist is the flesh of our Savior Jesus Christ, flesh which suffered for our sins and which that Father, in his goodness, raised up again. They who deny the gift of God are perishing in their disputes" ( Letter to the Smyrnaeans 6:2–7:1 [A.D. 110]).

 

Justin Martyr

"We call this food Eucharist, and no one else is permitted to partake of it, except one who believes our teaching to be true and who has been washed in the washing which is for the remission of sins and for regeneration [ i.e., has received baptism] and is thereby living as Christ enjoined. For not as common bread nor common drink do we receive these; but since Jesus Christ our Savior was made incarnate by the word of God and had both flesh and blood for our salvation, so too, as we have been taught, the food which has been made into the Eucharist by the Eucharistic prayer set down by him, and by the change of which our blood and flesh is nurtured, is both the flesh and the blood of that incarnated Jesus" ( First Apology 66 [A.D. 151]).

 

In John 6:55, Christ himself said, "My flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink."

 

To think of the Eucharist as anything less is to not believe in what Christ clearly taught us by his own words. It is to be as the disciples who could not take this teaching and who, therefore, walked away and followed him no more.

Looking Ahead!

Luke 9:60-62
But he said to him, "Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God." Another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home." Jesus said to him, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."

This verse spoke a lot to me last night. (Thanks, Dub!) I realize that, since I am following God, I cannot look back and there's no point in allowing my family, or anyone else for that matter, to take away the happiness in coming into Christ's Church. Each day, I find I am drawing closer to God, learning more... growing.

The Rite of Sending on Saturday was beautiful... My sponsor said that she sees how Jesus has been made real in my heart and my mind... It was wonderful to hear what each sponsor had to say about their candidates or catechumens as we were being "sent" to the bishop.

The Rite of Election was equally beautiful. Damion was there with the kids... Having them there to share in the event with me was great. I was amazed to see all the people in the diocese who have been moved along a similar journey to mine... some stepping into Christianity for the first time and others making their way to full communion with the Catholic Church... each one following God where He's led them. I do not know the numbers of those who stood up there, but I was filled with a sense of awe as I realized I was a part of something much bigger. All over the world, men and woman were coming forth in preparation for Easter Sacraments, celebrating God's presence and work in their lives, growing stronger in faith, and waiting with anticipation to partake in the Eucharist and become one with the Body of Christ.

It's moving to see how God has shaped people and moved them to the point where we could all come together like that. Beautiful!

After the rite, I had a picture taken with the bishop and then Damion, the kids and I went out for dinner. There was a nasty snow storm on our return trip to Reno and we feared we wouldn't make it back... our half hour drive turned into about 2 hours but we made it safely back home.

Now, I am looking ahead to the Easter Vigil! In less than six weeks, I will be in full communion with the Church established by the Lord himself!

Lord, keep me from all temptation and do not allow those around me to discourage me from following You. Keep me focused on Your will and help me forgive those who hurt me because they do not understand.

Elephant

As I expected, my family did not show up to the Rite of Election on Sunday. Saturday night, I had a feeling they wouldn’t be there and I was pretty upset about it but Sunday, I was a bit more at peace with the idea. At this point, I’m not sure I’ll invite them to the Easter Vigil. I can’t be disappointed if I don’t expect them to be there. My mom has always been one who does not like to miss “important” events in our lives but, apparently, there is a line she won’t cross, though I didn’t know that line existed until now.

Today, I’m feeling a bit angry that they didn’t show up... My sister graduated from a Catholic high school for goodness sake! What would they have done if she had converted while she was going there? If they were THIS opposed to Catholicism, what in the world were they thinking by putting her in that school?

I believe the worst thing about them not showing up is that they completely ignored the invitation... I received no response at all.

My conversion, to them, is the big elephant sitting in the middle of the room. Everyone knows it’s there and no one will talk about it, or acknowledge it. They simply step around it and pretend it doesn’t exist. They all treat me great. They aren’t mean or spiteful or rude. But on matters of faith, they are completely silent. It is, in a sense, a shunning that I didn’t expect.

On the other hand, the rites were AWESOME... I'm going to think a bit more about the experience before I post about it...

Upcoming Rites

Tomorrow, I go through the Rite of Sending and then the Rite of Election on Sunday. I've invited my family but have not heard whether or not they will attend. These rites are exciting because they bring me that much closer to Easter Vigil! Please pray for me as I go through these rites. Please also pray that if my family comes, they will see the beauty in the Mass and feel God's presence... that their ears, eyes and hearts will be open.

Friday's Feast #132

Friday's Feast can be found HERE.

Appetizer
Where on your body do you have a scar, and what caused it?
I have a scar on the right side of my face close to my mouth... It’s hardly noticeable because it falls right in my smile line. I was bit by a dog when I was an infant and I had five stitches. If you get close enough, you can actually count every stitch mark.

Soup
What is something that has happened to you that you would consider a miracle?
When I first started college, my family had no idea how they were going to pay for a class I was taking. The day the payment for the class was due, my mom got a paycheck. It was for the exact amount, to the PENNY, that was needed for the class. A small miracle that left us all knowing that God is truly in control. Now, if I could just FINISH college, I’d be happy!

Salad
Name a television personality who really gets on your nerves.
Ellen DeGeneres... that woman annoys the heck out of me! Perhaps I should pray for her...

Main Course
What was a funny word you said as a child (such as "pasketti" for "spaghetti")?
I used to say "fa-fant" for elephant.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I have always thought ______ was ______.
I have always thought oranges were orange... Ok, so I couldn’t think of anything that I have "always" thought... so I had to "go generic".

Lent

I took the boys to the dentist last week. While preparing to get x-rays of my son’s teeth, the dental assistant asked, "Where do you get your eyes? From your mom or your dad?" Christian looked at her a bit puzzled and said, "I get my eyes from Jesus!" That’s my boy! My little guy, who refuses to go to CRE classes, but still manages to come up with some of the most amazing little things to say about God... and giving credit where credit is due!

******
Today is Ash Wednesday... I talked with Clay last night about what he'd like to give up for Lent. He's going to give up sleeping with his "monkey" that he's had since he was a baby. The other two will not give things up individually. I am going to give up Diet Pepsi (eek!) but as a family we're going to do the following:

- No television or video games two nights per week
- No computer (this one's mostly for me) two nights per week
- One night per week without the use of electric lighting

In addition, I'm going to make a large effort to read more Scripture, pray more and teach my kids more of the faith. The problem is, I don't have any really good (and easy) ideas for doing this with the kids. If anyone has some creative suggestions on teaching kids (ages 5-8) basics of the faith, please let me know... I especially would like ideas on how to talk with them about Lent. Right now, I'm just trying to talk with them about the 10 Commandments and how those apply in their lives.

Also, does anyone know when children start to go to Reconciliation and how to help them develop their conscience (on their level)? Mine have not yet been baptized but will be in the next few months...

First Reconciliation

As I knew He would, God provided someone to watch my kids so I could meet with my priest yesterday. So I went down to the parish at noon. He asked questions about my background and baptism. I explained what I remembered and what my mom had told me and he concluded that I would not need a conditional baptism. This was a bit of a relief for me. I figured while I was there, I'd ask him a few more questions... It's not every day I have a priest to speak to on a one on one basis about the little things that linger in my mind so I took advantage of the moment. He was wonderfully patient and thorough.

 

He then agreed to listen to my first confession. I was quite nervous and somehow missed the Act of Contrition, which he said I could say as I leave, if I so wish. Prior to giving me penance, he said some wonderfully encouraging things. Specifically, I should try each day to be better, not perfect. To strive for perfection may only lead to disappointment every time I fail... but to strive to daily be better will allow me to continue to grow closer to God. Every day, pray a little more, read the Scriptures a little more, be a bit kinder than the day before, etc. In areas of wrong-doing, strive every day to do a little less: be less angry than the day before, less judgmental, etc. This was very encouraging since I often feel overwhelmed when I try to eliminate a negative behavior (or add a positive one) in one swift attempt and end up falling flat on my face in the mud.

 

I left with peace. I felt inspired to continue growing closer to God. I am working with a clean slate and I feel much lighter today... much less burdened and better capable of accepting God's merciful love for me. What an absolutely wonderful sacrament!

 

Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." ( John 20:21-23 NIV)

 

Forgiveness came to me from God through the priest. As I received absolution, it was not the words of the priest I was hearing, but Christ's forgiveness, mercy and love.

 

Thank you, Lord, for giving us a real and tangible way to receive and hear your forgiveness. Amen.

Return to the Eucharist

I found a great little site "designed to explain the Catholic faith from a Catholic perspective, clarifying and explaining the misconceptions formed by non-Catholic faiths". I found the site to be quite informative without giving a huge amount of information, causing one to be overwhelmed. This is a great site to point to our friends who would like an honest look at Catholicism from a Catholic viewpoint. (I will post the link at the end of the post.)

Often what our non-Catholic friends know about Catholicism has been learned from already misinformed people... This was the case with me and it wasn't until I learned about Catholicism from it's source that I was truly able to understand the teachings. This site might also be helpful for former Catholics who, for various reasons, have been led to believe that Catholics do not believe in the Truth and therefore left the faith. Nothing could be farther from the truth but many still hold on to the misconceptions they were told which caused them to doubt Catholicism and leave.

As I was sitting in Mass today, I thought, "How could anyone miss the Gospel or the truth if they were actively paying attention in Mass?" The Mass is entirely from Scripture: the readings, the hymns, the Eucharist... It occurred to me that if these former Catholics, who got "saved" only after leaving the Church, took the time to go to Mass and re-experience it, they would experience it with new eyes and new appreciation and they would come to understand just how beautiful the reverence of the Mass is... how spiritually renewing and how unifying to the body of Christ.

I pray that all Catholics who've been led out of the Catholic faith will take a serious examination of what they've been told by misinformed (but well-intentioned) non-Catholic Christians. I pray they will read the Early Church Fathers, dig deep into the Catholic understanding of Scripture (which is simply much more solid than anything else I've ever experienced) and see the truth that Christ is just as central to the faith as what they've experienced outside the Church, if not more!

If you are a former Catholic reading this post, I urge you to return to the Christ in the Eucharist! It is a wonderful gift that Christ has given his followers and you are missing out! The Scriptures are clear on this: Christ said if we do not eat his flesh and drink his blood, we have no life in us (John 6:53-54). What is this body and blood that we MUST have if not the Eucharist? A mere symbol does not give us life... but Christ's presence in the Eucharist does! (Why do you doubt this? Are not all things possible with God?) 1 Corinthians 11:28-30 says, "Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died." Does this make sense if it's only a symbol? How can a mere symbol, taken unworthily, cause illness or death? Don't wait another day! You cannot be closer to the Lord than you can through the Eucharist!

Peace be with you!

Catholics: What do they believe? (I also put this link in my sidebar.)

Assurance of Salvation?

As a Protestant, I always believed that my salvation was assured no matter what I did. I could sin away and it would not change my relationship with God or the fact that I was saved. Of course, I believed that if I really loved God, I would choose not to sin but I never imagined that my sin would separate me from God in any way. I believe this line of thinking actually allowed me to justify living my life "on my own terms". I easily fell into all sorts of things I never imagined I would. Looking back, I can see just how damaging it was to live my life this way. Though I continued to attend church, there were no real fruits from my faith whatsoever. There was an ample amount of grace from the people I attended church with, however... perhaps a bit too much. No one ever took me aside to explain that what I was doing was truly harming my soul and my relationship with God. I was assured of my salvation and so my relationship with God didn’t matter too much. Why did I need to do anything if I was already saved?

Can a person’s salvation be taken from them? The short answer is no.

John 10:27-28 (RSV)
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me; and I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them out of my hand.

Amen! No one can take my salvation away from me...

But the real question is:

Can a person intentionally turn their back on Jesus Christ and knowingly sin, and in turn, lose their salvation? The short answer is yes.

When we sin, we damage our relationship with God and this act of disobedience can cause us, by our own doing, to lose our salvation.

In the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:21, "Not every one who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." Jesus said we would be persecuted and hated and that many will fall away "but he who endures to the end will be saved" (Matthew 24:13, RSV).

Notice here that "saved" is in the future tense and that we must "endure to the end" to be saved. This clearly indicates that we can lose our salvation if we fall into sin and are led astray.

This is also made clear in other passages in Scripture:

Romans 11:22 (RSV)
Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God's kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness; otherwise you too will be cut off.

How can you be cut off from something you don't already have?

Galatians 5:4 (RSV)
You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law; you have fallen away from grace.

How can you be severed from Christ if you were not already a part of Christ? How can you fall from grace, if you didn't already have grace?

Even Paul feared being "disqualified" in 1 Corinthians 9:27 (RSV) when he wrote, "but I pommel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." Paul further goes on to warn us, "Now these things happened to them as a warning, but they were written down for our instruction, upon whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let any one who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall." (1 Corinthians 10:11-12, RSV)

Scripture is clear on the matter. If we choose to sin and separate ourselves from God, we can lose that which has already been given to us: eternal life. This has caused me to take a much more serious look at sin in my own life. The thought of being separated from God because my sin has so greatly offended Him, is not a happy one. I cannot just say I’m a Christian and do whatever I want with the idea that I’ll be saved “no matter what”.

God does not take salvation away from me... but if I deliberately sin and sever that relationship with God, I will be cutting myself off, falling from grace... and those who do not endure to the end will not be saved.

Prayer: Most High God, please help me to recognize the temptation of sin before I fall into it. Keep your word close to my heart and give me the desire to please only You. Give me conviction of heart, grace and strength to do what is right and to live each day in service to You. Help me understand that assurance of salvation comes only by knowing that I am striving to live my life on your terms and not my own. Give me the humility to work out my salvation in fear and trembling and to continue hoping for the day that I will see you face to face. Amen.

Romans 5:2
Through him we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in our hope of sharing the glory of God.

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Small Update

I spoke with the RCIA director last week about my conditional baptism/reconciliation situation. She stated that the priest wanted to speak with me directly about the matter and that I could also do reconciliation at that time if it were necessary. So, I made an appointment to meet with him on February 19 ^th. Of course, this was before I realized that the schools are closed and I'll have the kids with me. I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to swing that one yet. What was I thinking?!?

 

Regardless, I'm relieved to hear that he'll be able to hear my confession at that time.

 

I just finished "By What Authority?" by Mark Shea. What a wonderful book! I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to learn more about the problems of sola scriptura. Evangelicals hold to Catholic Tradition without even knowing it in many cases and these are explained in detail in this book. I love how detailed the book was in the logical problems with the doctrine of sola scriptura without attacking those who hold this belief. It forces one to take a look at Tradition as Catholics understand it so that they cannot be confused the "traditions of men" that Catholics are accused of practicing.

 

I have much more swimming around in my head but I'll have to save them for another post.  

Friday's Feast #130

Appetizer
Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?
Despite the nasty flu my daughter got, I have managed to avoid all sickness so far this winter. I feel very fortunate in this regard!

Soup
What colors dominate your closet?
Black... lots of it. When I shop, my eye always moves to black. It's been that way for years! Then I have the occasional plum or deep red. Maybe a pink thrown in.

Salad
How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?
I'm not quite clear on what this question is asking of me... A physical comfort zone? I like my space... I’m not a "touchy-feely" person. In other regards, I despise change or anything that makes me have to do something beyond the ordinary, taking me out of my "comfort zone". That's probably half the reason I complain about my job but refuse to do anything about it by finding a new one!

Main Course
On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?
I hate reality shows... they are SO UN-realistic! I would not want to be a contestant... I'm too happy with reality.

Dessert
Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?
Christmas! I know it's a cliché answer, but it's true! I really love the non-commercialized aspects of the season: family, traditions, warmth in the midst of the cold and most of all, remembering Christ's birth.

Confused about the order of things

I added a chat box through Meebo... If you see me online, don't be shy! I appreciate the private messages I've received when I've been off-line as well... I thank those of you who've left messages, for your kind words of encouragement and your much needed prayers!

Based on the fact that I have no record of baptism, that the church I was baptized in no longer exists and the fact that my mom is terribly reluctant, if not unwilling, to sign a piece of paper stating that I was validly baptized, it has been decided that I will be conditionally baptized. What troubles me is that I was told I would not need to attend First Reconciliation prior to the Easter Vigil. And from what I can tell, they expect to conditionally baptize me AT the Easter Vigil Mass. From what I've read, this is contrary to the way it's supposed to be done.

For one, if my first baptism was valid, then I think this conditional baptism will have no effect, which means, I will still have sin on my soul and should not partake in communion until I have gone to reconciliation. (If this takes place at Easter Vigil, I won't have TIME to go to reconciliation beforehand!) I have also read that conditional baptisms are to take place in private. When I talked to my RCIA Director about this, she seemed surprised. She is bringing the following questions to the parish priest:

What are the effects of a conditional baptism if the first baptism WAS valid? (I believe I know the answer but I wanted the RCIA Director to ask since she wasn't sure.)

Does the conditional baptism need to be done in private prior to the Easter Vigil Mass?

Is reconciliation required before (or after) the conditional baptism and prior to receiving First Communion?

Based on what I've read, I should be going to reconciliation BEFORE First Communion. Some say I should receive a conditional absolution. Some say there is no such thing.

I'm a bit confused by everything at this point. I am 99.9% certain that my first baptism was valid and I would not be comfortable NOT going to reconciliation. If I am told something that conflicts with this, I'm going to make an appointment to meet with the parish priest.

It seems the RCIA Director doesn't have a clear understanding of the National Statutes for RCIA. It also seems, according to these statutes that while I'm permitted to go through RCIA, I could actually have been received into the Church at any time since I have lived my life as a Christian and have an understanding of Catholic teaching etc. I have also read that there are certain rites I am not, as a baptized Christian, supposed to be doing in the same way that catechumens are, such as the scrutinies. My RCIA Director talks of these things as if we will all be doing the same thing. I'm not sure, at this point, if I should just go with the flow and follow their directions or what?

At this point, I certainly don't mind waiting until Easter, since I believe the anticipation has been good for my growth, but I don't want to be taking part in the aspects of certain rites that are supposed to be reserved for those who are unbaptized... and actually, I'm not even sure if there ARE any in my class who are not baptized already. I supposed I'm just going to have to talk with the RCIA Director about what I've read... but I have a feeling that anything I say will be trumped.

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Personal Relationship with Christ

It’s amazing to me how many people assume that Catholics do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. In fact, I’ve been told personally that this is “not a Catholic term” and that this term “is often mocked by Catholics”. I cannot begin to express how far from the truth this thinking is! First off, my RCIA class is constantly talking about our growing relationship with Christ, encouraging prayer and the reading of Scripture. At Wednesday’s class, they had a panel of married couples who stressed the importance of keeping Christ in the center of the marriage. This is also a continuing topic I hear on Catholic radio... Every morning, I listen to “Food for the Journey”. This show is about our growing personal relationship with Christ... about maturing in our faith, trusting God, reading His Word, praying, and loving others. Isn’t that what a personal relationship with Christ looks like?

 

Even the catechism stresses its importance (with the same term):

 

2558 "Great is the mystery of the faith!" The Church professes this mystery in the Apostles' Creed (Part One) and celebrates it in the sacramental liturgy (Part Two), so that the life of the faithful may be conformed to Christ in the Holy Spirit to the glory of God the Father (Part Three). This mystery, then, requires that the faithful believe in it, that they celebrate it, and that they live from it in a vital and personal relationship with the living and true God. This relationship is prayer.

 

No one can tell me that Catholics are not encouraged to have a personal relationship with Christ. Every Mass encourages this relationship through reading of Scripture, prayer, worship and, at the deepest level, when we partake in Holy Communion. I have found no deeper personal relationship than what I’ve experience since I decided to come into full communion with the Catholic Church and I imagine that it will only grow deeper and better as time goes on.

 

Catholics DO have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ... anyone who says otherwise is not taking a fair look at the Catholic faith.