Friday, March 30, 2007

Friday's Feast #137

SteakFriday’s Feast can be found HERE!

Appetizer
What are you proud of?
I am proud of my children... Though it is difficult raising them alone at times, I am proud to be their mother and thankful for them in my life.

Soup
What is the best thing you’ve ever won as a prize?
Hmm... I won a community service award when I was in high school for the time I spent working with and interpreting for deaf children. This included awards from local political figures. The real prize, however, was seeing the kids learn, grow and change...

Salad
Name something you do that is a waste of time.
Watch television... this is such a waste of time and the older I get, the more I see this. At the same time, I really enjoy it!

Main Course
In what year of your life did you change the most?
I would have to say my 24th year. I became a mother for the first time and my life has never been the same since. I grew up that year... learned to be a mother and a better friend, too.

Dessert
Where is a place you consider to be very tranquil?
Is there such a place? Can someone please point out the way to this place? I’d like to go there!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Encouraged

Wow... I want to thank those of you who took the time to comment and encourage me. I printed out the Saint Michael Prayer and have it posted on my monitor’s edge.

I hope that God will use this, as Jeff said, in a way I cannot yet see... I have to admit that I did expect this a bit as I came near to Confirmation and I realize that feelings are not what makes or breaks one’s faith. I suppose there is a part of me that envies the presence that others say they feel... Perhaps Confirmation will help to make a difference.

Our RCIA does not have a retreat before confirmation. We are simply required to attend three Holy Week "events"... although a retreat sounds really nice about now. Next week, the television will not be turned on at my house at all, in hopes I’ll be able to add some quiet in order to better prepare myself for the Easter sacraments.

Thanks, RobK, for the book recommendation. I took a look at the book online and will likely purchase it on my next payday. My whole faith seems to be "an act of the will in spite of not feeling it..." Thank you for your prayers...

I have not read Dark Night of the Soul but I’ve been meaning to. Perhaps this is a good time, huh?

I’m feeling a bit more encouraged today. RCIA was great last night as we rehearsed for Easter. I had several friends tell me they plan to attend and even my sister said she may go, which was a surprise. I decided it might be best to get a sitter for the children because, otherwise, I will stress out the whole time about them behaving and being bored... especially since I won’t be able to sit right next to them. I really just want to be able to take in the moment and they are too young to really understand what would be happening.

And it’s official... the saint I chose for Confirmation is Elizabeth Ann Seton, single mother and convert to Catholicism. There are other saints I admire but this one speaks so much to my personal life experience and to the kind of Christian I’d like to be, devoted to helping others while working hard to care for my own children. Every time I examined the lives of saints, I’d always come back to her so I believe I was meant to choose her... or perhaps, she chose me... ?

Again, thank you all for your prayers and support. This journey is only beginning and I have a lot to learn and a lot of growth still ahead of me. In nine days, I will submit myself to the authority of the Catholic Church and I am thankful for the stability, continuity and unity found within the Catholic faith. I will finally be home and I cannot wait!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Prayer to live in God's Presence

God, my Father,
You have promised to remain forever with those
who do what is just and right.
Help me to live in Your presence.
The loving plan of Your Wisdom was made known when
Jesus, your Son, became man like us.
I want to obey His commandment of love
and bring Your peace and joy to others.
Keep before me the wisdom and love
You have made known in Your Son.
Help me to be like Him in word and deed.

I want to feel...

AloneI’ve got to get past this... there has to be a way to get my heart caught up with my brain. I’ve been praying more, reading the Bible more, learning more... but I still feel very little. On rare occasion, I feel overwhelmed with joy and excitement that I am becoming a Catholic... being a part of something I am so strongly convinced of. But this is short-lived and then, I’m back to numb...

What is wrong with me?

I haven’t written lately, because, quite simply, I don’t have anything to say. I’ve been feeling really depressed. Perhaps it’s a test to see if I’m really ready to stick with it... to push forward even though I feel it’s getting me nowhere. I know there have been saints who have experienced “dryness” and this gives me a bit of consolation but I don’t want to feel nothing. I want to feel something... something beyond abandonment.

I know God is there... but I cannot feel His presence. While others do, I simply don’t.

What is wrong with me?

I will press forward. I will not give up. I will continue to pray, continue to read the Scriptures, continue to learn... but I desire more than anything to feel what others feel.

Lord, please... I long to feel your presence...

Monday, March 26, 2007

Getting Closer!

RobK at Kyrie Eleison has started a new blog for Catholic Dads. If you are a Catholic Dad and your blog touches on the issue of being a Catholic dad, then check it out and join others like you in the blog-o-sphere.

Catholic Dads Blog

**********

On another note, I cannot believe I am only 12 days away from Confirmation! Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday I was months away and now here it is, right around the corner!

I went to lunch with my dad last week and asked if they were going to make it. He said they probably wouldn't come and he apologized for not at least letting me know when they didn't show up for the Rite of Election. This opened up a good conversation between us and I was able to explain my position a little more. I only hope that something I said might have reached him. Despite that I know they won't be there, I had a peace come over me. I think not knowing was too difficult. And now I know I can fill my reserved seats with those who truly are supportive.

Prayers:
Damion and kids
Bill - continued strength and healing
J, sister and family
Jill - for faith
Renee and kids - for healing
Cindy, Terri and JillD
AutumnRose

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Can't think of a title...

Last Sunday, the gospel reading was done by the deacon. I spoke to the priest about the gospel reading the week before and he basically said that, while it's supposed to only be done by a deacon or a priest, there are some occasions where it can be permitted. He also said that as long as a priest or deacon were INVOLVED in the reading and not just done by lay people, it was okay... though not good practice. Whatever. I'm not going to make waves at this point.

It will be interesting to see how they do it next Sunday.

I have yet to talk with the director about the whole Bible issue. I have to think of a good way to approach it and I may wait to do so until after the Easter Vigil.

Thank you all for your prayers and support in the last several months. I really appreciate all the comments and thoughts as well.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Friday's Feast #135

Mac and CheeseFriday's Feast can be found HERE.

Appetizer
Name two things that made you smile this week.
Only two? Seeing Clay safely return from the NASCAR races in Las Vegas. Every time I spoke with Damion.

Soup
Fill in the blank: Don't you hate it when a co-worker stops you when you're on your way out to lunch and you've already clocked out?

Salad
When you can't go to sleep, what is your personal remedy to help yourself drift into Lullabyland?
All I have to do is read... Reading puts me to sleep and this is a big problem for me when I really WANT to be reading. But, I usually don't have trouble going to sleep.

Main Course
What is something about which you've always wondered but have not yet found a good answer?
Why is faith in God so easy for some and seemingly impossible for others, even when presented with the same evidence?

Dessert
What is your favorite pasta dish?
I am not a fan of pasta but I like macaroni and cheese (preferably oven-baked with real cheese).

Monday, March 12, 2007

Living Water

Living WaterJohn 4:13-14
Jesus said to her, "Every one who drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst; the water that I shall give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."


I can think back to times when I’ve been thirsty... when I’ve been parched to the point where I’d do just about anything for a cup of water, a soda, or anything. I can think back to how wonderful it was to quench that thirst with a drink... relieving the dryness in my throat.

It’s ironic that Marie brought up this passage just the other day and there it was yesterday, being read in Mass, during the First Scrutiny...

Knowing thirst on a physical level helped me be able to see a deeply spiritual meaning in this passage. So often, in the past, I’ve felt spiritual thirst and ended up trying to quench it with temporary things: friendships, material possessions, spending money... These things would make me feel better for a while but, in the end, I was always more thirsty that I was before, like when I try to quench my thirst with a soda. It’s nice when I have it, but once it’s gone, I’m no less thirsty than I was before.

Of course, the only thing that will actually quench my spiritual thirst is the living water of Jesus’ love and truth. Each time I turn to God instead of looking to the temporary things of this world, my thirst is quenched and my relationship with God grows. With each drop, I desire more, not due to thirst... but because the water is simply so refreshing, renewing and uplifting. Only if I spend time with him in prayer and in His Word, will my thirst be fully quenched. This is not to say that friendships are not important or that material possessions are wrong. These things are important and necessary in our lives but never at the expense of our relationship with God!

When my thirst is quenched with the living water, a “soda” can be had not for quenching thirst but for enriching my life... and hopefully, I’ll be able to share the truth of God’s living water with others I encounter along the way. I never again want to feel parched in my spiritual life...

Lord, thank you for your living water. Thank you for your love for me. Help me daily to do your will. Quench my thirst and do not permit me to crave the temporary things of this world but to keep my eyes focused on You. Amen.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Friday's Feast #134

Appetizer
What is your usual bedtime? Do you like that, or would you rather it be different?

Sometime between 10:00 and 11:00. I think it's a little too late but I can't seem to make it any earlier!

Soup
When it comes to advice, do you give more or receive more?

Over the years, I've learned to listen more so I think it's fairly balanced. Of course, it all depends on the situation and who I'm talking with.

Salad
Describe a memorable meal you've had.

I remember the first time I met Damion at a restaurant after not seeing him for eight years. I knew right away that I was going to fall in love with him...

Main Course
Name a work of fiction that affected the way you think about something.

I cannot remember the last time I read a work of fiction... and I don't recall reading anything that really affected the way I think... I might have to think about this one a bit more...

Dessert
What is your favorite type of fruit juice?

Apple... boring, huh?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Get Simple

Luke 16:19-23

"There was a rich man, who was clothed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Laz'arus, full of sores, who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man's table; moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom. The rich man also died and was buried; in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes, and saw Abraham far off and Laz'arus in his bosom.

 

How often do I act as the rich man, forgetting those who are hurting or who are considered outcasts by society? I often forget to think just how much God loves them... no less than me. I've come to realize that many of my possessions weigh me down and hold me captive... I really want to simplify my life, to own fewer material items and grow in appreciation for having less. In short, I want to "get simple".

 

I am a bit of a packrat. The problem is that the thought of throwing things out actually causes me a lot of anxiety. What if I regret it? What if I throw out something I need or want later? (Silly, I know!) But I'm reaching a point where it's causing me more anxiety trying to hold on to so much stuff! I've been improving, trying to let go of things that just sit in boxes. I desire to get more organized but the task of doing so is overwhelming in and of itself...

 

I've been much more aware lately of how my money is spent as well... When I think of the material things I'd like to have, I often think about those who don't even have the basic necessities of life: food, shelter, clothing, or even adequate water. I rarely buy bottled water because when I do, I feel terrible for those dying from poor water, who would live if they could only drink what comes out of my tap.

 

Get simple.

 

I believe this is going to be quite a process for me but it's my goal to simplify my life by parting with all the material baggage I have. By this time next year, I want to be free of the anxiety I feel from carrying around so much "stuff". I want to re-train my mind to keep only what is important or of high sentimental value and toss the rest. I believe this will help me see the needs of others in order to help them. The Lord wants us to be ready to drop everything to follow him. The more I have, the more difficult that will be and I don't want to be hindered by materialism.

 

Lord, help me to know what is truly important so that I may follow you with all my heart, mind and soul. Let me not be burdened by materialism and ease my anxiety so I can part with the things that weigh me down.

 

Prayers:

v      Damion and kids

v      My parents

v      Jill – that the Lord would give her some Christian friends and strengthen family relationships

v      Bill – that he continues to recover from illness and that he regains the strength he needs quickly

v      Ruth – that her husband would come to understand the Catholic faith

v      Renee and children – that the Lord would give them strength and peace in this time of tragedy

v      Jose and Amy Lopez – for the repose of their souls

v      For the Lopez children and family - dealing with their loss

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Photos: Rite of Election

Rite of Election photo with Bishop Randolph Calvo
Left to right/top to bottom:
Ruth (my sponsor), Bishop Randolph Calvo, me
Christian, Trinity, Clay



Rite of Election photo of Damion and me
Me and Damion (posing with the Bishop - haha)

Monday, March 05, 2007

Peace Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much
seek to be consoled as to console,
not so much to be understood as to understand,
not so much to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
it is in dying that we awake to eternal life.

St. Francis of Assisi
 

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The Real Presence

Malachi 1:11

For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name is great among the nations, and in every place incense is offered to my name, and a pure offering; for my name is great among the nations, says the LORD of hosts.

 

This passage in Malachi, written around 450 BC, is a prophecy of the Sacrifice of the Mass. At the time this was written, the Lord's name was not great among the nations nor was there a pure offering in his name in every place from the rising to the setting of the sun. But today, this describes the re-presentation of the one sacrifice of Christ on the cross that is offered in every nation all day long. Christ is the only pure offering that we continue to celebrate in an un-bloody manner through the Eucharist.

 

John 6:51-57

I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh." The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, "How can this man give us his flesh to eat?" So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me.

 

Many say that Christ was only speaking symbolically here. But there is nothing in this passage that indicates he was speaking symbolically. He does not tell us that we must symbolically eat his flesh and symbolically drink his blood. If this was symbolic, then why did they take him literally and ask, "How can this man give us his flesh to eat?" It is obvious they were troubled by what he was saying but he did not offer them an explanation to help them understand he was not to be take literally. Instead, he reiterated his words. If this was symbolic, then how do we do this? How can it be that the bread and wine we receive at communion can give us eternal life if they are only a symbol? What other way are we to eat his flesh and drink his blood in order to have this eternal life he speaks of?

 

John 6:60

Many of his disciples, when they heard it, said, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?"

 

Even after he further explained, those listening to him still understood this in a literal way, saying it was difficult to listen to.

 

John 6:64-66

But there are some of you that do not believe." For Jesus knew from the first who those were that did not believe, and who it was that would betray him. And he said, "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father." After this many of his disciples drew back and no longer went about with him.

 

Did Jesus call the disciples back to him to explain? No. He said, "But there are some of you that do not believe" and He allowed them to leave because of it.

 

1 Corinthians 11:23-26

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, "This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me." In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me." For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.  

 

Here, Jesus tells us that the bread IS his body. He does not say, this represents my body or this is symbolic of my body.

 

1 Corinthians 11:27-30

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.

 

How can you eat the bread and drink the cup in an unworthy manner if it is only a symbol? How do we profane the body and blood of the Lord if the bread and wine is only a symbol? Christ tells us we must discern the body and blood in the bread and wine or we bring judgment upon ourselves! If the bread and wine are merely symbols, why would those who took it unworthily become weak, ill or die?

 

This simply cannot be written any clearer. But Christ told us that some will not believe. Today, many still do not believe. They limit the power of God by claiming this is not possible. They try to find all sorts of ways around it. But Scripture is SO clear, that it must be severely twisted in order to conform to any other view.

 

It must also be pointed out that early Christians understood this literally as well. I can quote at least 14 different early Christians who believed in the real presence but for the sake of brevity, I'll quote two.

 

St. Ignatius of Antioch

"Take note of those who hold heterodox opinions on the grace of Jesus Christ which has come to us, and see how contrary their opinions are to the mind of God. . . . They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer because they do not confess that the Eucharist is the flesh of our Savior Jesus Christ, flesh which suffered for our sins and which that Father, in his goodness, raised up again. They who deny the gift of God are perishing in their disputes" ( Letter to the Smyrnaeans 6:2–7:1 [A.D. 110]).

 

Justin Martyr

"We call this food Eucharist, and no one else is permitted to partake of it, except one who believes our teaching to be true and who has been washed in the washing which is for the remission of sins and for regeneration [ i.e., has received baptism] and is thereby living as Christ enjoined. For not as common bread nor common drink do we receive these; but since Jesus Christ our Savior was made incarnate by the word of God and had both flesh and blood for our salvation, so too, as we have been taught, the food which has been made into the Eucharist by the Eucharistic prayer set down by him, and by the change of which our blood and flesh is nurtured, is both the flesh and the blood of that incarnated Jesus" ( First Apology 66 [A.D. 151]).

 

In John 6:55, Christ himself said, "My flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink."

 

To think of the Eucharist as anything less is to not believe in what Christ clearly taught us by his own words. It is to be as the disciples who could not take this teaching and who, therefore, walked away and followed him no more.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Looking Ahead!

Luke 9:60-62
But he said to him, "Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God." Another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home." Jesus said to him, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."

This verse spoke a lot to me last night. (Thanks, Dub!) I realize that, since I am following God, I cannot look back and there's no point in allowing my family, or anyone else for that matter, to take away the happiness in coming into Christ's Church. Each day, I find I am drawing closer to God, learning more... growing.

The Rite of Sending on Saturday was beautiful... My sponsor said that she sees how Jesus has been made real in my heart and my mind... It was wonderful to hear what each sponsor had to say about their candidates or catechumens as we were being "sent" to the bishop.

The Rite of Election was equally beautiful. Damion was there with the kids... Having them there to share in the event with me was great. I was amazed to see all the people in the diocese who have been moved along a similar journey to mine... some stepping into Christianity for the first time and others making their way to full communion with the Catholic Church... each one following God where He's led them. I do not know the numbers of those who stood up there, but I was filled with a sense of awe as I realized I was a part of something much bigger. All over the world, men and woman were coming forth in preparation for Easter Sacraments, celebrating God's presence and work in their lives, growing stronger in faith, and waiting with anticipation to partake in the Eucharist and become one with the Body of Christ.

It's moving to see how God has shaped people and moved them to the point where we could all come together like that. Beautiful!

After the rite, I had a picture taken with the bishop and then Damion, the kids and I went out for dinner. There was a nasty snow storm on our return trip to Reno and we feared we wouldn't make it back... our half hour drive turned into about 2 hours but we made it safely back home.

Now, I am looking ahead to the Easter Vigil! In less than six weeks, I will be in full communion with the Church established by the Lord himself!

Lord, keep me from all temptation and do not allow those around me to discourage me from following You. Keep me focused on Your will and help me forgive those who hurt me because they do not understand.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Elephant

As I expected, my family did not show up to the Rite of Election on Sunday. Saturday night, I had a feeling they wouldn’t be there and I was pretty upset about it but Sunday, I was a bit more at peace with the idea. At this point, I’m not sure I’ll invite them to the Easter Vigil. I can’t be disappointed if I don’t expect them to be there. My mom has always been one who does not like to miss “important” events in our lives but, apparently, there is a line she won’t cross, though I didn’t know that line existed until now.

Today, I’m feeling a bit angry that they didn’t show up... My sister graduated from a Catholic high school for goodness sake! What would they have done if she had converted while she was going there? If they were THIS opposed to Catholicism, what in the world were they thinking by putting her in that school?

I believe the worst thing about them not showing up is that they completely ignored the invitation... I received no response at all.

My conversion, to them, is the big elephant sitting in the middle of the room. Everyone knows it’s there and no one will talk about it, or acknowledge it. They simply step around it and pretend it doesn’t exist. They all treat me great. They aren’t mean or spiteful or rude. But on matters of faith, they are completely silent. It is, in a sense, a shunning that I didn’t expect.

On the other hand, the rites were AWESOME... I'm going to think a bit more about the experience before I post about it...

Friday, February 23, 2007

Upcoming Rites

Tomorrow, I go through the Rite of Sending and then the Rite of Election on Sunday. I've invited my family but have not heard whether or not they will attend. These rites are exciting because they bring me that much closer to Easter Vigil! Please pray for me as I go through these rites. Please also pray that if my family comes, they will see the beauty in the Mass and feel God's presence... that their ears, eyes and hearts will be open.

Friday's Feast #132

DessertFriday's Feast can be found HERE.

Appetizer
Where on your body do you have a scar, and what caused it?
I have a scar on the right side of my face close to my mouth... It’s hardly noticeable because it falls right in my smile line. I was bit by a dog when I was an infant and I had five stitches. If you get close enough, you can actually count every stitch mark.

Soup
What is something that has happened to you that you would consider a miracle?
When I first started college, my family had no idea how they were going to pay for a class I was taking. The day the payment for the class was due, my mom got a paycheck. It was for the exact amount, to the PENNY, that was needed for the class. A small miracle that left us all knowing that God is truly in control. Now, if I could just FINISH college, I’d be happy!

Salad
Name a television personality who really gets on your nerves.
Ellen DeGeneres... that woman annoys the heck out of me! Perhaps I should pray for her...

Main Course
What was a funny word you said as a child (such as "pasketti" for "spaghetti")?
I used to say "fa-fant" for elephant.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I have always thought ______ was ______.
I have always thought oranges were orange... Ok, so I couldn’t think of anything that I have "always" thought... so I had to "go generic".

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Lent

ChristianI took the boys to the dentist last week. While preparing to get x-rays of my son’s teeth, the dental assistant asked, "Where do you get your eyes? From your mom or your dad?" Christian looked at her a bit puzzled and said, "I get my eyes from Jesus!" That’s my boy! My little guy, who refuses to go to CRE classes, but still manages to come up with some of the most amazing little things to say about God... and giving credit where credit is due!

******

Today is Ash Wednesday... I talked with Clay last night about what he'd like to give up for Lent. He's going to give up sleeping with his "monkey" that he's had since he was a baby. The other two will not give things up individually. I am going to give up Diet Pepsi (eek!) but as a family we're going to do the following:

- No television or video games two nights per week
- No computer (this one's mostly for me) two nights per week
- One night per week without the use of electric lighting

In addition, I'm going to make a large effort to read more Scripture, pray more and teach my kids more of the faith. The problem is, I don't have any really good (and easy) ideas for doing this with the kids. If anyone has some creative suggestions on teaching kids (ages 5-8) basics of the faith, please let me know... I especially would like ideas on how to talk with them about Lent. Right now, I'm just trying to talk with them about the 10 Commandments and how those apply in their lives.

Also, does anyone know when children start to go to Reconciliation and how to help them develop their conscience (on their level)? Mine have not yet been baptized but will be in the next few months...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

First Reconciliation

As I knew He would, God provided someone to watch my kids so I could meet with my priest yesterday. So I went down to the parish at noon. He asked questions about my background and baptism. I explained what I remembered and what my mom had told me and he concluded that I would not need a conditional baptism. This was a bit of a relief for me. I figured while I was there, I'd ask him a few more questions... It's not every day I have a priest to speak to on a one on one basis about the little things that linger in my mind so I took advantage of the moment. He was wonderfully patient and thorough.

 

He then agreed to listen to my first confession. I was quite nervous and somehow missed the Act of Contrition, which he said I could say as I leave, if I so wish. Prior to giving me penance, he said some wonderfully encouraging things. Specifically, I should try each day to be better, not perfect. To strive for perfection may only lead to disappointment every time I fail... but to strive to daily be better will allow me to continue to grow closer to God. Every day, pray a little more, read the Scriptures a little more, be a bit kinder than the day before, etc. In areas of wrong-doing, strive every day to do a little less: be less angry than the day before, less judgmental, etc. This was very encouraging since I often feel overwhelmed when I try to eliminate a negative behavior (or add a positive one) in one swift attempt and end up falling flat on my face in the mud.

 

I left with peace. I felt inspired to continue growing closer to God. I am working with a clean slate and I feel much lighter today... much less burdened and better capable of accepting God's merciful love for me. What an absolutely wonderful sacrament!

 

Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." ( John 20:21-23 NIV)

 

Forgiveness came to me from God through the priest. As I received absolution, it was not the words of the priest I was hearing, but Christ's forgiveness, mercy and love.

 

Thank you, Lord, for giving us a real and tangible way to receive and hear your forgiveness. Amen.